Hi, I'm a Landlord.

I didn't always want to be a Landlord.  When I was a small boy I didn't dream of renting out 3 bedroom houses.  My G.I. Joes did not try to convince my Big Jims to sign an 18 month lease purchase on a slightly distressed fortress.
 
No, I dreamed of being filthy, stinking rich guy.  If that had worked out, my website would be HappyFilthyStinkingRichGuy.Com, but apparently something went wrong along the way.

In 2004, Real Estate seemed to be a sure-fire, can miss, only work a few hours a week path to easy wealth and prosperity.  So I decided to start investing in Real Estate.  I’m not sure, but I think some other people had the same idea.
 
I started buying houses.  Generally speaking, I didn’t go crazy. I bought houses that needed work done to them.  I bought them relatively cheap.

By early 2006, I owned 11 houses. 

In March of 2006, I bought twelfth and last house.  As I sat in the Closing Attorney’s office, with my signature still drying on the last page of the contract, a huge rumble occurred outside his office.  The windows shook; the pens rattled on the desks; my chair moved.  I looked up and said “What was that?”  The attorney responded, “I think the real estate bubble just burst”.

Damn.

My 12 houses sat completely rehabbed and ready for new owners to hand me stacks of cash and take them off my hands.  The FOR SALE signs sat gleaming in the front yards.  And I waited.  And waited.  And waited.  And then waited a little more.  Then I made a sandwich.  The sandwich was bit dry but still very nice.  I waited some more.  After 6 months of mortgage payments flying out of my pockets, my money ran out.  I made the fateful decision to rent the houses out.

That is how I became a Landlord or, more accurately, a Landlord in Hell. 

Why, in Hell you ask?
 
Having 12 houses is the tipping point between a part time job and a full time job, but I have a full time job.  If the houses are all rented out, the mortgages are paid but that leaves nothing to pay for any repairs.  So if something goes wrong, I have to go out and fix it. 

And lastly, being a Landlord is a horrible job.  Tenants do nothing but complain about the smallest problem and then give you a hundred reasons why the rent will be late this month.   Now multiple that by 12.  Every month.  Month in and month out.  With no hope of it changing in the near future.

Now, while tenants do not pay their rent, they do provide a never ending series of interesting stories.  They are the perpetual motion machines of oddities, confusion, humor, varying levels of disgust and head scratching ‘you must be kidding me” moments.

These are the stories that I will share with you